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“Looks OK to me. No sign of the Billy-boy fan club,” I jabbed.
Bill smirked wryly. “Remember where Dave told you to look Doc… right side, near the back, bottom shelf. Just get it over with quickly.”
“OK then. Here I go,” Moculare stepped out and hobbled stiffly across the street, apparently trying to look normal.
We waited as the minutes dragged by.
“Can you see any movement in there?” Bill asked.
I just shook my head. The windows were reflecting the midday light so nothing could be seen within.
Finally, Moculare emerged. He stopped, while still holding the door, and talked to someone inside. He continued talking, standing with his back to the door as if holding it open for someone. In another moment Trixie emerged. Her hair was different, but it was definitely her. Bill panicked. He looked the other way and put his hand up to hide his face.
“Bill, she doesn’t know you in this reality, remember?”
“So. I’m not taking any chances. This chick keyed on me like a homing pigeon.”
“Oh, I see. You’re irresistible. Is that it? You’re a magic man, and she’s just got to sprinkle you with Trixie dust.”
“Shut up. I don’t even know what that means… but shut up.”
“It might be safer for you to stay in the car, Bill.”
“Why?”
“Well maybe she’s just a freak for tall guys. If you stay in the car she’ll have a hard time noticing how tall you are.”
“Maybe.”
Bill was not totally convinced. He started the car, locked the door and rolled the window halfway up, presumably to prevent Trixie from crawling in and sitting in his lap.
Moculare shrugged as he approached the car.
“This young lady said she just had to meet the guy who was so interested in Gödel.”
“Great. That’s you Dave.” Bill reached across the car, opened my door and pushed me to exit.
I got out to meet Trixie.
“So, it is unusual that anyone wants to read Gödel. I mean, some people have heard his theories… usually misinterpreted by some college professor. But, I think I have only sold his book twice in three years. Why the interest?”
“Well, thanks for asking. I am not sure my explanation will –“
“Who’s that?” Trixie asked, eyes widening, as she peered around me toward Bill who was still trying to hide his face.
“Oh. I’m very sorry. This is Bill. He is the other research assistant I told you about,” Moculare said. “Bill, this is Trixie from the bookstore.”
Trixie walked toward the car. Bill looked halfway in her direction and said hello, then quickly turned his head away again. Trixie said hello with a rising tone that hinted to her perception of Bill’s odd behavior, and she began to circle the car in an effort to get look at Bill’s face.
“Ahem! So Trixie, why the interest in Gödel?” I asked.
Trixie responded as if she had been awoken from a light, sleepy, daze. “What? Uhm… well, I uh, I did a paper on him in college, and I guess I became amazed by the fact that everyone else was still believing that science can prove everything. They don’t believe that anything is beyond equations and machines to understand or control.”
“And you do? Just because of Gödel?”
“Yes, but not only because of Gödel. I have seen things that… Hey, why won’t he look at me?”
Bill hunkered down tighter in his seat, still looking away.
“Oh, he’s really shy. Actually it’s because of the disfigurement.”
“Oh dear. I’m sorry Bill. I’ve been so rude.”
“It’s not your fault. Anyway, I’m used to rudeness. I spend a lot of time with Dave and the Doc there.”
“Well, you have a very nice voice… and, uhm, hair too. That’s some very nice hair you have there.” Trixie blushed.
“Thanks. It was nice talking to you.” Bill clenched, sensing he had said something too nice, maybe too encouraging. “…but we really must be going.”
“That’s too bad,” she said “I was really hoping to talk more about Gödel and his theories. So few people understand it. Maybe you can give me your phone number and I’ll call so --”
“No!” Bill snapped.
Trixie jumped a bit, her face showing instant distress.
“He just means we won’t be around any phones for a while. We can drop by again soon; maybe next week. How would that be?” I said.
“That would be great.”
We said our farewells to Trixie, who could not suppress her curiosity, and never stopped trying to get a look at Bill’s disfigured face...By Dave Squires, Co-author of The Ungettable Joke
It was, I'm sure, not the intent of Professor Peter Higgs to run afoul of the grand assertions of his colleague from Cambridge. But, nonetheless he has taken Doctor Hawking's godless Grand Design theory and thrown it on the ash heap. Hawking himself said he had a $100 "bet with Gordon Kane of Michigan University that the Higgs particle wouldn't be found." With one or two caveats, and a smile, he admits he may have lost the bet. I appreciate that Mr. Hawking has a sense of humor.
Hawking previously spoke of his conviction that the whole model of the Universe was complete and did not require God (see external article). Given that he had bet against the Higgs particle and the Standard Model of the Universe that it confirms, and in view of the self-contradictory nature of the theory he previously posed, should Hawking now retract his previous assertions of a Godless Universe? I confess, I do not know if the two ideas are completely and mutually exclusive. But, perhaps Mr. Hawking and Mr. Higgs do know, and can offer an answer.
In any case, it seems once again that Kurt Godel's proof (see previous article) has placed an impenetrable wall between human logic and the founding of the Universe. We may discover how it functions, but perhaps never mathematically define why it came about. My own sense is, that mathematics is a product of the Universe and its Creator. That is, math is a tool that allows for measurements and definitions of what is, not of why it came to be. Godel's proof would seem to agree, and the true source and reason of existence seems securely hidden from prying human eyes.
Curiously though, the Higgs boson is a creative particle, perhaps reflecting part of the Creator's nature: somehow, the particle emits a field that imparts mass to passing particles. This is quite a trick since E=MC2 says that energy must be drawn from the universe to create mass. It seems the Higgs boson might be an "anti-Michael Bloomberg" particle -- making everything fat instead of stealing sodas from kids in New York. Anyway, can we now envision replicating things from pure energy? Who knows -- perhaps the RonCo "Boson the Cloner" will show up soon at an electronics store near you.
By Dave Squires, Co-author of The Ungettable Joke
By Dave Squires, Co-author of The Ungettable Joke
As part of this blog, I occasionally want to inform readers about some discoveries made as we work to promote our book The Ungettable Joke. In this particular article, I am going to talk about an experiment I am running to explore the value of using keyword-focused articles to earn money on the Internet. Perhaps that sounds a bit shallow, so let me elucidate further. I do NOT intend to talk about writing meaningless articles, packed with keywords, just for the purpose of gaining an audience. That is not only silly, but also counterproductive. Any blogger or author wants to attract the right audience, and audience that will be interested in what they are selling.
In that regard, I have an especially tough row to hoe. The Ungettable Joke is an unusual book. It explores the connections between the human mind and the mysteries of the universe and its founding. "So," I ask myself, "how do I gain an audience online? What keywords and tools can I use to attract reader who will buy my book, and become energized by enough to be sales ambassadors for me?"
In the search for the right keywords, I need to identify the character of a loyal reader and follower of of The Ungettable Joke book and overall concept. Here's how I define the reader:
1. They think like me and are interested in where the Universe comes from.
2. They believe that coincidences are telling them something, that they often happen for an important reason.
3. They are not satisfied with "common sense" that they are told should be taken at face value. They believe as I do that common sense is often uncommonly bad.
4. They enjoy science and love to think in the realm of possibilities.
5. Movies like Back to The Future and Star Trek and Iron Man intrigue them because they show credible possibilities for a noble and exciting future of applied science, and our ability to move out into the Universe.
6. They believe in honesty, integrity, the rewards of hard work, and honor.
7. They are grateful for the sacrifices made by others to secure our freedoms and improve our lives. They might have made such sacrifices themselves.
8. They believe our Constitution is an inspired document, perhaps divinely inspired, and that those who violate it do not have the best interest of the country at heart.
9. Most importantly, they believe there is such a thing as universal truth and they want to know it.
That is the beginnings of a definition of a loyal UJ reader and fan according to me. My co-author Bill might see it a little differently, but by and large we tend to agree on things. Clearly, this definition leans well away from readers of romance novels, and leans strongly in the direction of science fiction and heroic adventure. Those genre's are close to defining The Ungettable Joke, but not perfect. That's OK. I believe that no book should perfectly fit a genre, or it risks showing lack of originality.
So, what keywords will work best in the meta data and content of an article to sell this book? A very good question. There are some Internet experts and businesses that serve the purpose of listing the most used keywords on a daily basis. So, for my first experiment, I might try using some of these keywords. But, search engines are smart. Very smart. They can tell if the content of your site does not match the keywords and meta tags you have embedded in your pages. That means they'll give you low scores and shove you way down the page list when the search results return to the searcher (e.g. a Google search result). So, HOW on Earth do I get The Ungettable Joke to show up in search results unless someone searches for it by name?
[Mind numbing thoughts accompanied by dull humming sound.]
Oh, are you still there? Sorry, I think I took a nap. Marketing might be exciting to some, but I really just want to write books and live well off the revenues. So, in the ongoing quest for success, I am now experimenting with keywords and meta tags.
One Internet site recently listed the following top twelve searched keywords and phrases on their top 1,000 list (Please ignore the use of lower case. Internet software ignores it too.):
Can you see connections to my core audience in these? It's a real stretch. The mere fact that I included them in this article won't help much because my loyal UJ reader (LUJR) is not necessarily looking for these things. Or, are they?
Here's the experiment I propose: Create key phrases that describe the loyal UJ reader with those that seem to align with the top search words.
Examples (it's OK to laugh -- the same way you might laugh at a wobbling two year old as he learns to walk. Warning: Some of these are ungettable, but you might laugh anyway.):
I seriously doubt this will work, but it let's me stay on topic -- and it's fun.
By Dave Squires, Co-author of The Ungettable Joke
By Dave Squires, Co-author of The Ungettable Joke
Stephen Hawking, the famous wheelchair bound physicist, has declared himself the founder of reality and truth. He purports to have found something, and gives himself credit for it, but his own mathematics (or rather the mathematics of his contemporaries) defy his conclusion.
"But", you say, "isn't he a brilliant scientist?"
Perhaps, but he is not sufficiently brilliant to understand who God is, or how God could exist before the big bang. If fact, like the blind squirrel that finally finds a nut, it could well be that Stephen Hawking has accidentally discovered a law that guarantees God's existence. If he can interpret it correctly.
He explains that God could not exist before the big bang because time did not exist before the big bang. This is like saying that bacteria did not exist until we discovered the microscope. The idea that Mr. Hawking could understand the nature of God without an instrument through which to view Him is ludicrous. The bible itself says in many ways that God is timeless. God describes himself as having no beginning and no end. In fact, he describes himself AS the beginning and the end. That may be said to be description of time collapsed upon itself in an infinite loop so small that no time passes as you go around the loop.
To illustrate Mr. Hawking's lack of imagination, let me provide you with an example that he gave on his television series "Stephen Hawking's Grand Design". (From this title you might get the idea that Mr. Hawking would like to be seen as the father of the godless universe he defines. I believe you are right.)
Here is Mr. Hawking's unimaginative example:
He said that looking for God before the big bang, before time existed, is a question that makes no sense. He says it is like asking for directions to the edge of the Earth. In his explanation, you cannot find the edge of the Earth because the Earth is a globe.
This is a poor analogy and simply incorrect. Mr. Hawking, and his wheel chair are sitting ON the edge of the Earth. The edge of a solid globe is its surface! We are all on the edge of the Earth unless we are airborne, underground, or underwater.
Now, the fact that Mr. Hawking cannot understand what a timeless being is, or how such a being could bring the known universe, or universes, into existence, does not mean this being cannot exist anymore than the bacteria that killed many a hapless plague victim did not exist because they had no microscope with which to view them. An unseen thing can be very real yet remain unseen until we learn how to see it. Will we ever learn how to "see" God? I suspect that will be up to Him. No person or quantity of people who pretend He does not exist will have any effect on His existence.
I am an engineer with a few years of physics under my belt as well. This does not make me the worlds greatest physicist, nor do I presume to be. But, in my work with other engineers and scientists, I have learned something about imagination, and what I do presume and assert is that Mr. Hawking's conclusion is unimaginative. He is like a proverbial blind man claiming to understand the complete description of an elephant by touching only its trunk.
His theory, by his own logic, cannot be proven. For, if time did not exist prior to the big bang, and he asserts that it is logical to conclude that God could not cause the big bang, then I assert that it is much more logical to conclude that the big bang could not cause itself. If there is no time, then there are no actions -- all clocks and motion are stopped as Mr. Hawking illustrated in his program.
To find the answer, Mr. Hawking may appreciate this interesting fact:
In the bible Moses asks God whom he should say has sent him to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. God says: "I AM THAT I AM... Thus shalt thou say unto the children of Israel, I AM hath sent me unto you." In other words, God calls himself self-existent, and therefore timeless, having no cause and no creator. If Mr Hawking has discovered anything, it is this. That is, his calculations almost certainly prove the opposite of what he asserts. They prove that self-existence is possible, and that time must be started by something that is both self-existent but also animated.
So, Mr. Hawking, like a blind squirrel, might indeed have rediscovered a nut -- but he thought it was a rock. His self-existent particle from which he says the universe sprang is, again by his own assertion, frozen in time -- that is, it is NOT animated. Hence, the logical conclusion is that an animated entity is required to set things in motion. This animated entity must also be timeless. Such an entity has made Himself known to us. He has a name. He calls himself I AM. We call him God.
Sorry, Mr, Hawking, the name of the ultimate animated being is not Stephen Hawking, and the Grand Design is not yours, but His.
You can come back down to the edge of the Earth now. Welcome to reality. Now, go read Kurt Godel and King James and get your head on straight.
By Dave Squires, Co-author of The Ungettable Joke
By Dave Squires, Co-author of The Ungettable Joke
Have you ever been annoyed with the number of people that tell you every day “you ought to think this”, or “you ought to do that”, or “you should give more of yourself to this cause or that cause”? No matter what the subject, there is always someone ready to instruct you on how to steer the ship of your life so you can do things the “right way”. The thing is, when I hear these people they all sound the same to me, and only a few of them are really offering helpful advice.
Most of them sound like Captain Stubing, stammering ineptly and trying to direct the crew to behave. They seem to think there is only one important issue in the sea, their issue, only one way to run a ship, their way, and that all hands should all run en masse to their side of the boat to join their cause. But, it is plainly impossible to respond to all the stammering Captain Stubings of the world. There are in fact hundreds of causes trotted out every day in an attempt to separate you from your hard earned cash or gain power over you through politics.
People choose causes because it is in their heart to do it, and that is right. No one should choose a cause out of guilt. The person that tries to make me feel guilty is the person who wants me to run screaming in the opposite direction.
Now, this blog is not really about choosing a charity or a political cause. I merely used these things as examples of the cacophony of issues that bombard us every day. My own way of dealing with this intellectual noise has always been to think for myself first. I hesitate to tell you how I do that because it will sound too preachy and I do not say that everyone should do exactly what I do. I will simply suggest that thinking adults would benefit tremendously if they avoid getting all their ideas on life from other people, particularly those that want money or power. After all, why should you trust anyone else to run your life? Really, you probably have family members you don’t trust as much as you want to trust media people.
To put this another way: If you believe what “everyone knows” you will never discover what nobody knew. Meaning, one should think beyond the so called "common sense" which is often uncommonly bad. Often, ideas are sold to you as common sense and are really outright lies told in the self-interest of the speaker. Anyway, history is nothing if not an unending stream of common sense shot down by discoveries of the real nature of things.Posted Februry 15, 2012 By Dave Squires
You probably remember something in your childhood that grabbed your imagination like nothing else. For me it was the Apollo moon landing. I had the usual love of baseball and football and all things sports, and I dreamed of being a star athlete as I watched the San Francisco Giants, 49ers and the Olympics on our black and white TV in the ‘60s. But the moon landing, the technology that surrounded spaceflight, and mostly the spirit of exploration, sparked my imagination and set my path in ways I would not understand for years to come. In this incredible event, I saw possibilities for a limitless future.
But, my fascination with spaceflight would have to wait. As a kid I had a talent for music, and loved it too. So, along with my interest in sports, I played the trumpet. In high school I was so small that sports was simply not in the cards unless I wanted to be a featherweight wrestler – I stayed with music. Eventually, I played first chair soloist in the elite travelling wind ensemble at the University of the Pacific. From there, I joined a night club band, and travelled around California, Utah, and Nevada performing and writing. One of my songs was even something of a local hit, and a couple of my songs were produced professionally and presented to Arista records (who took a pass).
Through it all, I continued to be drawn to technological things and exploration. I loved electronic games and toys that allowed me to pretend I was in control of an aircraft, a spaceship, or a submarine. I particularly loved the first walkie-talkies my brothers and I received one year for Christmas. We spent hours riding around on our bikes coordinating imaginary manhunts over our “police” radios as we tried to track down the guy who was “it”.
Anyway, after four years performing as a musician, I realized the music business was not a business. I don’t need to dwell on the negatives, most people have a pretty good idea what they are, and there is something in the news nearly every day about a musician gone bad. This life was not for me. I was married and wanted better for my wife and future kids.
So, with the support of my very understanding wife, I chose to return to college and get a degree in the one thing that had interested me all my life, but had previously seemed out of reach – electrical engineering and the space program. The spirit of exploration, and the idea that I could be part of the space program, had finally won out. The spark that struck me as a kid, became a flame. I wanted to take part in building the future of humanity. Not just any future, but one of limitless possibilities.
I’ve now been a NASA contract engineer for over 20 years and I never regretted my choice. Each new project has been an exploration in and of itself. Scientific knowledge has advanced due to the projects I’ve been involved with. In the end, everything I’ve done has been an exploration to some degree. I like to create things that are new and unique; things that have never existed before: music, engineered systems, and books. Each creation is an exploration in itself. Maybe that’s just me, but I think it’s you too or you wouldn’t have read this much. If I’m right, you should enjoy reading The Ungettable Joke (lots of fun for just 99 cents).
Our book is an adventure in infinite possibilities and it starts where all adventures start: as soon as you take the first step. Be warned, the book requires imagination and the ability to suspend rationality – for a while. But, you can take it. Anyway, it’s mostly just something fun to help you take your mind of your high stress life for a little while.
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